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This transcript

Mr. Gnome : MRG / Mrs. Elf: MRSE / Mr. Elf : MRE / Nanny Plum : NP / King Thistle : KT / Queen Thistle : QT / Ben / Holly /

Bell rings

Holly - Hi, Ben!

Ben - Hi Holly. Are you ready to come camping?

KT - Um, why have you brought an orange?

Holly - Yes, please!

MRSE - It’s to scare off gnomes.

MRE - You know what they say; to scare off a gnome, bring an orange from home.

QT - What’s wrong with gnomes?

MRSE - Oh, you don’t want to bring a gnome on a camping trip. They talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.

NP - Yes! Gnomes are just like elves.

MRSE - Absolutely not! Gnomes are greedy boring creatures who talk, and talk, and talk, and ta-

MRE - Goodness! Look at the time! We really should be going.

Holly - Bye Mummy and Daddy! Bye Nanny!

QT - Goodbye!

KT - Have fun!

NP - Watch out for those gnomes!

MRSE - Don’t worry! We’ve got our orange!

MRE - Here’s the time table. One, set up camp. Two, hang up washing, Three, make a campfire. Four,

Ben - Dad! We’re on holiday!

MRSE - Try to relax, Mr. Elf.

MRE - I’ll do my best, Mrs. Elf.

MRE - Here we are!

Ben and Holly - Yippideedoodah!

Holly - Will there be any dancing?

Ben - Can we sing songs?

MRE - There will be no dancing or singing. Just camping. Here’s the tent.

Holly - Shall I magic the tent up for us, Mr. Elf?

MRE - Holly, I’d rather you didn’t do any magicking. Remember, this is an elf camp.

MRSE - Elves have been camping for hundreds of years! We can put tents up with our eyes closed.

Holly - Wow!

MRE - One elf tent.

Holly- Hooray!!

MRSE - Lovely. Now we’re on holiday.

MRE - Yes. And that means there’s holiday work to be done.

Holly - Holiday work?

MRE - Next on the list; hang out washing.

Holly - But we’ve only just arrived. Why do you need to hang out the washing?

MRE - A campsite can never be too clean and tidy.

MRSE - I’ll slice the orange.

Holly - Mrs. Elf, how do oranges keep gnomes away?

MRSE - It’s the smell. Gnomes hate the smell of oranges. There! Now we’re safe.

MRE - Next on the list, collect sticks for the campfire.

Holly - Here are some sticks!

Ben - Here are some more!

MRE - Okay. That’s enough sticks.

Whistling

All - Ah!

MRG - Hallo there!

MRE - A gnome!

MRG - Mind if I join you?

MRSE - Uhh.. well..

MRG - Thank you. I’ll only stay for a week or two.

MRSE - Oh no..

MRE - But we had an orange!

MRG - Yes. I wouldn’t have would you if it weren’t for the smell of this orange.

MRSE - But gnomes hate oranges!

MRG - Normally, yes. But I’m on a balanced diet, you see. If I eat ten pies, and twenty steamed puddings, I need to balance that by eating fruit.

MRE - Sigh . Let’s make a fire.

Holly - How do you make a fire, Mr. Elf?

MRE - Rub two sticks together really fast. Like this.

MRG - You have to rub the sticks a little bit faster. Would you like to hear the interesting thing I know about sticks? Sticks grow on trees. Amazing, isn’t it?

Ben and Holly - Oooh!

Holly - I’m nice and warm now.

MRG - That’s because fire is hot.

Ben and Holly - giggling

Ben - I’m hungry.

MRG - Me too!

MRE - What a surprise..

MRG - I’ve hardly eaten anything today.. I’ve only had ten pies, a skip full of chips, 30 apple tarts,

Ben - Wow! That’s a lot!

MRG - ..a sponge cake, a hundred sausages, and, that orange.

Holly - I thought you said you were on a diet!

MRG - Hoho! I am! There are some things I don’t eat. Like stones, wood, and television sets.

MRSE - But nobody eats those things!

MRG - What? You’re on this diet too?! I never knew it was so popular!

MRE - What’s for dinner, Mrs. Elf?

MRSE - Cheese and onion pie!

MRG - Ooh! Thank you very muchly.

Ben - That’s tasty.

Holly - Yes! It’s scrummy!

MRG - Hoho! Very good.

Owl hoots

Holly - What’s that?

Ben - It’s an owl!

Holly - It has very big eyes.

MRG - Would you like me to tell you an amazing fact about owls?

MRE - Uhh..

MRG - I’ll take that as a yes. The owl, is in fact, a bird. It has big eyes for seeing things.

Ben and Holly - giggling

MRE - 6:00! Time for bed!

Ben and Holly - Aww!

MRE - I’ll put the fire out.

Holly - Cant you leave it? To keep the owl warm?

MRSE - It’s dangerous to leave a fire going, Princess Holly.

MRG - That’s right. Don’t go to bed, until the fire is out! And don’t go to bed, with a carrot on your head!

Holly - That’s silly.

MRE - Ben, Holly, you get in the tent and go to sleep. Mr. Gnome, you have to go home!

Ben - But we’re having fun!

MRE - Elf camping is not meant to be fun!

MRSE - Bed time is at 6:00. Not the middle of the night.

MRG - Oh! I know a song about the middle of the night. Would you like to hear it?

MRE and MRSE - NO!!!

MRG - I’ll take that as a yes. In the middle of the night, the stars twinkle bright! Rinky dinky doo! Rinky diddlee dee! Dooby dooby doo, dibblee dibblee dee! All together now!

MRG, Ben, and Holly - Rinky dinky doo! Rinky diddlee dee, dooby dooby doo, dibblee dibblee dee!!

MRE - Time. For. Bed!!

MRSE - It was lovely meeting you, Mr. Gnome, but now we need to get some sleep.

MRG - Oh yes. A good night sleep is very important.

MRG - Rinky dinky doo! Rinky diddlee dee! Dooby dooby doo! Dibblee dibblee dee! RINKY DINKY DOO-

MRE - STOP!!! STOP!!!!!

MRG - Would you like me to stop?

MRE - YES!!! AND PLEASE GO!!!

MRG - Would you like me to go?

MRE - YES!!!!!! GOODBYE!!!

MRG - Hoho! Sleep well! See you in the mornin’.

Ben - Haha! Mr. Gnome is funny.

MRE - He is silly.

Holly - Yes. Really silly!

MRSE - Goodnight everyone!

MRE, Ben, and Holly - Goodnight!

Scratching noise

MRE - Ah! It’s the gnome! He’s come back to eat our breakfast! Ahh! A mole!

MRSE - Oh! It’s eating our washing!

MRE - Shoo! Shoo!! Go away, mole! Princess Holly, do you know a magic spell to get rid of moles??

Holly - I’m sorry, Mr. Elf. I don’t.

MRE - Oh dear. Think Mr. Elf.. what gets rid of moles?

MRG - Hello!

All - Hooray!

MRG - Yes. Moles don’t like us gnomes. No idea why.

MRE - Uhh.. thank you Mr. Gnome, for uhh, saving our campsite from the mole.

MRG - That’s alright. What’s for breakfast?

MRSE - The mole ate all the food!

MRG - Oh dear.

NP - Good morning!

Ben and Holly - Nanny Plum!

NP - How was your night?

MRSE - It was very strange.

MRE - Mr. Gnome turned up, and he loves oranges!

Holly - And Mr. Gnome sang a funny song called Rinky Dinky Doo.

Ben - Then a mole came along. And ate our washing line. And all our food!

Holly - And now, we haven’t any breakfast.

NP - Yes.. I thought that might happen. That’s why I brought the magic picnic basket! Breakfast for everyone!

All - Hurray!

MRG - Oh, I’m actually very hungry.

NP - Oh. Have you not eaten either?

MRG - Not today. Oh dear, it’s empty.

Holly - It isn’t empty It’s a magic picnic basket! Magic basket please, breakfast for everyone!

All - Hurray!

MRG - I get the idea. Magic basket please, 20 poached eggs, lots of toast, nine jars of jam, fourty sausages, and ninety pancakes.

All - Yippee!

MRSE - What a splendid breakfast! Thank you, Mr. Gnome.

MRG - Breakfast is one of the things gnomes know a lot about. Yummy yummy hoho! Oh! I almost forgot my balanced diet! I shouldn’t be eating all this without also eating an orange.

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